Spinach and Artichoke Dip

This is one of my favorite appetizer/afternoon snacks. Unfortunately, every time I make it, it seems to last only for a couple days, if it makes it past the first hours. This is loosely based off of Alton Brown’s recipe. However, I believe that mine is cheesier. Because, cheese!

Grab Yer Grub:

- 1/3 cup Mayonaise

- 1/3 cup Sour Cream

- 1 8-oz package of Cream Cheese

- 1 package of Spinach (frozen)

- 1 package of Artichokes (frozen)

- 1/2 to 1 cup of a white melting cheese (we used fontina)

- 1/8 to 1/4 teaspoon of Cayenne or Red Pepper Flakes

- 1/2 to 1 teaspoon of garlic

- 1/2 teaspoon of pepper

- 1/2 teaspoon of salt

All Hands on Deck:

- 1 Medium or Large Bowl

- 1 Small Bowl

- A Spoon

- A Microwave

- A Knife (optional)

Weigh Anchor and Set a Course for Delicious

Step 1: Open your vegetables. If you want, chop the vegetables into smaller pieces.

Step 2: Microwave your vegetables for 1 minute.

Step 3: Microwave your cream cheese for 1 minute. Stir, then microwave for 1 more minute. (Also, somebody should convince Kevin that I deserve a shiny new microwave. Did you see the picture of that old clunker?)

Step 4: Combine cream cheese, mayo, sour cream, and vegetables. Stir together.

Step 5: Add spices. Ranges for spices are given to provide a guideline for taste. I like lots of garlic and cayenne. Not everyone does.

Step 6: Stir, and microwave in one minute increments until desired temperature is reached.

I usually serve this with some kind of a tortilla chip. However, I’ve also put this dip on hot wings and on chicken patty sandwiches. Really, it tastes awesome on pretty much everything.

Butter and Sage Green Beans

I’d like to leave the gate strong, so I’ll start with a recipe that is, in equal proportions, inexpensive, delicious, and simple. This was the result of three things: we had green beans, my cast iron skillet was all clean and seasoned and lookin’ sassy, and I was peckish. Also, my woman was nagging me. Something about me not feeding her for weeks or whatever. Anyways, legumes!

Assemble the Delicious Troops:

-Green Beans (fresh or frozen, about a pound)
 -Butter (2 tbsp)
-Salt and pepper
-Sage (fresh, dried, or rubbed, but a fair bit of it)
-Garlic (minced or granulated)

Arm Yourself for Culinary Greatness with:

-A Skillet (I’m a snob for cast iron)
-A Knife, if your green beans are fresh and need to be trimmed
-A Spatula or wooden spoon

The Cage is Locked, the Lights are On, it’s Delicious Procedure Time

Step 1. If necessary, trim the little stem bits off of your green beans.

Step 2. Preheat your stove to medium-high. On my crappy electric rangetop, that’s a 6 or 7. Put your skillet on the burner. Remember: hot pan, cold fat.

Step 3. Once your skillet is toasty and whatnot, toss your butter in and wait for it to melt. Swirl it around and let it finish bubbling so all the water is gone; it’ll concentrate the buttery goodness.

Step 4. Everybody in the pool. Season with salt and pepper to taste. I like kosher salt because I grew up on a healthy diet of Alton Brown. I also go with fresh ground or cracked black pepper because it’s tastier when it’s fresh.

Step 5. It’s spicin’ time. Stir the green beans while adding about a teaspoon of garlic and at least a tablespoon of sage.

Step 6. Saute and toss with your spatula for about five minutes. The green beans will darken and wilt a little; that’s okay! It’s just the butter helping them to caramelize and the extraneous liquids going away. These are both good things because caramelization and liquid reduction are both flavor bombs.

Step 7. Taste a green bean. Adjust your seasoning. If anyone is watching, pretend you did not just burn your mouth.

Step 8. You’re done! Serve these bad boys up in a bowl or something. Fair warning: they are delicious and you will eat them like popcorn.

Blog Post the First

Hello, gentle reader. Welcome to this intensely ridiculous corner of the internet. I have no real pithy remarks or thoughts for you just yet. Perhaps I’ll edit this post later!

Perhaps not.